Well, this year I broke my Mom Rule – Mom should never communicate directly with anyone at the college except your child, the Financial Aid office, and the Bursar’s Office. This year I added the Health Center to that list.
When not to Ask
Academic matters are between the student and the college. Mom can give advice to the student when asked, and even occasionally when not asked, but Mom does not call the professors about anything. That communication is for the student to do. One friend mentioned to me that she had a hard time getting response from professors. Well, you shouldn’t be calling the professors. That is up to the student. If there is a question about academic work, a problem with grades, or a question about what courses to take, the student should call the appropriate professor. Mom is out of that loop.
However, this year we encountered a time for Mom to call the college Health Center. Our daughter came down with symptoms that sounded a lot like Covid-19. She was dealing with it the best she could, but was feeling very weak and needed some help. She started feeling bad on Sunday evening before a Monday holiday. On Monday everything was closed, including the Health Center, and my internet was down. She sent me an email, but I didn’t get it. Finally in the evening she texted to ask if I got it.
When your Student is Sick
Her roommate had gone home for the long weekend, so they hadn’t seen each other since Friday morning. It was possible that the roomie hadn’t been exposed to whatever she had. She thought that she had to come home to quarantine. She also thought that the Health Center was closed on Tuesday. There was apparently a confusing message on their answering machine on Monday. She and the roommate came up with an interesting plan. Roomie stayed home until Tuesday morning, then went directly to classes. My daughter got up early, packed her suitcase, cleaned up, left the window open, and moved into her car. She was thinking of coming home and looking for a place to test here.
I said, “The Health Center has to be open on Tuesday.” They have free testing for students. If she comes home, I don’t even know where to go around here for a test. I talked with her, and she was pretty weak and sleeping in her car between video classes. I didn’t want her to be driving a couple of hours in that condition. She gave her permission for me to call the University for her.
Time to Ask
I called and found that the Health Center was open, and discussed possibilities with them. Their general plan was that she would quarantine in her room until she got the test results, and then come home to isolate if she was positive. But her parents are over 60 – not a good plan.
The plan announced to the students was that you go home to isolate if you live within five hours. The real plan is that isolation locally is available if you have extenuating circumstances. The extent of these extenuating circumstances is not announced publicly. If in doubt, ask.
The Health Center was understanding about the lengths she had gone to not to expose her roommate, and about the older parents. They told me to have her call to make an appointment. She did that.
After her test, they arranged for her to move to a hotel, and they had food delivered to her. Problem solved. She did classes remotely from the hotel. She recovered quickly and got back to college life.
Conclusion
So, college students are adults and can manage their own lives. They should be given responsibility over many of the details of life. Their academics and communication with professors is their own problem. Parents need to back off and let the student handle that. Parents can give suggestions, nudges, and reminders to their student, but academics are the student’s responsibility. Health care is also the student’s responsibility, but if the student is sick they may not feel up to the questioning and negotiating that is needed for their care. It is okay for parents to step in and call about the student’s health.